I find myself with many questions that I wish to ask without wanting to know the answer, so I will endeavour not to sate my curiosity on this occasion, less I provoke myself further than you already have.
It is times like these that I strongly consider ridding myself of you all, and desperately hoping that a fresh crop of assistants may never get so comfortable under my employ that such a thing could occur.
It was mostly my fault, let me be up front with you, please.
[ it was a joint effort, but god tim incites jon so much it's best this way. ]
You were away for the evening.
[ which almost never happens, it was like. basically asking for it. ]
So we decided we would try and tide up a bit and eventually one thing led to another and we got bored of cleaning? It's like when you pick up one thing another thing is out of sorts, like rabbits! But cleaning.
And then Tim tried to frighten me by pouring a packet of gummi worms on top of my head so I grabbed the fire extinguisher and shot it at them but I got it all over his shoes and he was pissed so he grabbed another fire extinguisher and one thing led to another and
[ playing ghostbusters was really fun ok. you should have been there jk ur a fun sucker ]
that's what happened. I started it with the fire extinguisher, really. I lied.
Why would you even bother to say it was Tim that initiated this entirely mindless scenario if
No, never mind, I don't wish to know the answer.
[ as far as jon's concerned, this conversation just proves sasha right again about martin's questionable sense of self preservation.
and yes, jon is certainly a sucker of something, martin would know all about that, wouldn't he. ]
At least you've the decency to come clean about this ridiculous affair, if it had been left up to Tim, then no doubt he would have simply hoped I'd never notice anything going awry. All the same, you should damn well know better, Martin. Must I be permanently fixed within the Institute to deter this kind of behaviour?
[ ... ]
And why would picking up a rabbit lead to other rabbits being out of sorts?
I misspoke. Mistexted. I was just nervous. There's your answer anyways.
And no, you don't need to do something like that. That's... ridiculous. I'll just get out more. Touch some grass. Been a bit restless is all.
[ fat chance. he's not leaving. ]
And you know. Like rabbits? They multiply rather quickly? Breed! They breed. A lot. Often. Like when you pick up one file and under it you've got about fourteen more. Rabbits.
of course it's a better thing that he heard it from martin first, all things considered. ]
Though it's difficult to pick up on lies in text message form, I'll hazard a guess that "I'll get out more" is one.
If you ever feel as though you do want to at least stretch your legs outside of the Institute, I'd be [ glad? available?? oh god what's the right word to use here why does martin ruin his ability to use words ] able to join you. If you wanted company, that is.
[ that's not v smooth, jon. they oddly revert to awkward phrasing from time to time, as though their relationship hasn't been decidedly different for a while now, and the fact that they should be past these sort of stumbles. ]
Ah. Yes, that's not an inaccurate analogy to use, though your initial reference to it was vague.
Rabbits indeed.
Edited (fucking fuck what am words) 2017-09-21 18:55 (UTC)
You should know me well enough at this point to know that I would not offer if it would trouble me. [ aka he's not that sweet he's just a constant arse ache ] It still stands, if you ever want it. The offer, that is.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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For the record, I do not panic.
I NEVER panic.
[ he gets bitchy instead xoxo ]
1/?
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4/4 this icon just Does it.
And I want you to know that almost NOTHING of extreme value was lost.
1/?
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5/5 ya so does this one
"Almost" nothing, Martin.
Elaborate. Now.
1/? still using this icon
[ erm. ]
A few casefiles dated late October 2008.
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And maybe. A few tapes.
I'm not sure if they were emptied or not.
3/3
[ it might have played hardball with u this morning tho sorry for that???? ]
But that's it.
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How
Why did
INFURIATING
15 minutes of (...) later
[ it was a joint effort, but god tim incites jon so much it's best this way. ]
You were away for the evening.
[ which almost never happens, it was like. basically asking for it. ]
So we decided we would try and tide up a bit and eventually one thing led to another and we got bored of cleaning? It's like when you pick up one thing another thing is out of sorts, like rabbits! But cleaning.
And then Tim tried to frighten me by pouring a packet of gummi worms on top of my head so I grabbed the fire extinguisher and shot it at them but I got it all over his shoes and he was pissed so he grabbed another fire extinguisher and one thing led to another and
[ playing ghostbusters was really fun ok. you should have been there jk ur a fun sucker ]
that's what happened. I started it with the fire extinguisher, really. I lied.
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No, never mind, I don't wish to know the answer.
[ as far as jon's concerned, this conversation just proves sasha right again about martin's questionable sense of self preservation.
and yes, jon is certainly a sucker of something, martin would know all about that, wouldn't he. ]
At least you've the decency to come clean about this ridiculous affair, if it had been left up to Tim, then no doubt he would have simply hoped I'd never notice anything going awry. All the same, you should damn well know better, Martin. Must I be permanently fixed within the Institute to deter this kind of behaviour?
[ ... ]
And why would picking up a rabbit lead to other rabbits being out of sorts?
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And no, you don't need to do something like that. That's... ridiculous. I'll just get out more. Touch some grass. Been a bit restless is all.
[ fat chance. he's not leaving. ]
And you know. Like rabbits? They multiply rather quickly? Breed! They breed. A lot. Often. Like when you pick up one file and under it you've got about fourteen more. Rabbits.
[ martin shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ]
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ugh.
of course it's a better thing that he heard it from martin first, all things considered. ]
Though it's difficult to pick up on lies in text message form, I'll hazard a guess that "I'll get out more" is one.
If you ever feel as though you do want to at least stretch your legs outside of the Institute, I'd be [ glad? available?? oh god what's the right word to use here why does martin ruin his ability to use words ] able to join you. If you wanted company, that is.
[ that's not v smooth, jon. they oddly revert to awkward phrasing from time to time, as though their relationship hasn't been decidedly different for a while now, and the fact that they should be past these sort of stumbles. ]
Ah. Yes, that's not an inaccurate analogy to use, though your initial reference to it was vague.
Rabbits indeed.
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You don't need to trouble yourself. I won't go shooting off fire extinguishers are passersby if I leave off. It'll be fine.
[ sweats ]
I thought it was rather clever.
[ martin. ]
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You should know me well enough at this point to know that I would not offer if it would trouble me. [ aka he's not that sweet he's just a constant arse ache ] It still stands, if you ever want it. The offer, that is.
[ mmmmmmm ]
It was apt.
[ let's not get ahead of ourselves ok martin ]
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I'd like to be certain. That's all. And I would. Maybe. At some point.
[ why can't you just give a dog a bone, jonathan. ]
It was good.
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not that kind
yknow what i mean
i need to stop]It was fitting, Martin, was it not enough that I concede as much?
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I suppose.
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You suppose?
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Yes.
There's nothing wrong with that is there?
Is it too soon to collect on my walking company.
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